What do you do when your scared and you don't trust anyone or believe that they can help you. How do we put our faith in that they can save us?
I feel like I am ready to be a mother.. I mean I was ready in 2012 when the worst thing happened. When you fall pregnant and its a shock your minds all over the place, you wonder what people will think, your scared to tell people.. I was like this and in the end I just come out with it no tip toeing around.. you just say it!
My mum knew first as she was waiting as I done the test, it said positive so I did another which also said positive. She was fine about it and just carried on putting the cheese on her toast. I then sent my boyfriend a picture of the test and he called me and said so does that mean your pregnant.. yes I said and he just laughed and went on about how we was going to name the baby after a Chelsea player!
I was over the moon that he was so supportive and after he got telling all of his family out of the way I think he was more comfortable with it. We were both shocked but happy and as time went on it started to sink in more that we were going to be parents. We got so excited and we prepared ourselves for the arrival of our little girl.
The pregnancy wasn't great but I actually loved the feeling of being pregnant I loved feeling her kick and move around and hiccup! I used to talk to my belly quite a bit and I felt I was growing closer and closer to her.. I was so ready for her to be born and start being the best mum I could be!
When that didn't happen.. I had to try and get used to being just regular old me again. Do you know how hard that is? I had to take what felt like 100 steps back in life. It was an even bigger adjustment than finding out I was pregnant. Life is so hard and throws curve balls at you all the time. Me and my boyfriend are so ready. There's just one thing stopping me, well not stopping me just scares me. The thought that I might die if I get pregnant again scares me so much and to see people who are so bad in they're pregnancy.. smoking, doing drugs and drinking and they have a completely normal run and the baby comes out perfect! How? Why me? When I tried so hard to be good? As I said before I loved being pregnant and now even the thought of it makes me feel nervously sick.
The point is no body that can tell me its all going to be fine, you and your baby will be ok Emma and that scares me.
There's so many things that can go wrong but I am only asking for one thing to go right, just this once, I wont ask for anything again, Please let everything be ok this next time.
So I was thinking a lot today about future pregnancies, if any of you have had pre eclampsia and got pregnant again and it went ok or you got it again but how it was different how the hospitals treated you this time, or just have general advice please comment below it would be a big help.
Thanks for reading.
Emma
xoxo.
I feel like I am ready to be a mother.. I mean I was ready in 2012 when the worst thing happened. When you fall pregnant and its a shock your minds all over the place, you wonder what people will think, your scared to tell people.. I was like this and in the end I just come out with it no tip toeing around.. you just say it!
My mum knew first as she was waiting as I done the test, it said positive so I did another which also said positive. She was fine about it and just carried on putting the cheese on her toast. I then sent my boyfriend a picture of the test and he called me and said so does that mean your pregnant.. yes I said and he just laughed and went on about how we was going to name the baby after a Chelsea player!
I was over the moon that he was so supportive and after he got telling all of his family out of the way I think he was more comfortable with it. We were both shocked but happy and as time went on it started to sink in more that we were going to be parents. We got so excited and we prepared ourselves for the arrival of our little girl.
The pregnancy wasn't great but I actually loved the feeling of being pregnant I loved feeling her kick and move around and hiccup! I used to talk to my belly quite a bit and I felt I was growing closer and closer to her.. I was so ready for her to be born and start being the best mum I could be!
When that didn't happen.. I had to try and get used to being just regular old me again. Do you know how hard that is? I had to take what felt like 100 steps back in life. It was an even bigger adjustment than finding out I was pregnant. Life is so hard and throws curve balls at you all the time. Me and my boyfriend are so ready. There's just one thing stopping me, well not stopping me just scares me. The thought that I might die if I get pregnant again scares me so much and to see people who are so bad in they're pregnancy.. smoking, doing drugs and drinking and they have a completely normal run and the baby comes out perfect! How? Why me? When I tried so hard to be good? As I said before I loved being pregnant and now even the thought of it makes me feel nervously sick.
The point is no body that can tell me its all going to be fine, you and your baby will be ok Emma and that scares me.
There's so many things that can go wrong but I am only asking for one thing to go right, just this once, I wont ask for anything again, Please let everything be ok this next time.
So I was thinking a lot today about future pregnancies, if any of you have had pre eclampsia and got pregnant again and it went ok or you got it again but how it was different how the hospitals treated you this time, or just have general advice please comment below it would be a big help.
Thanks for reading.
Emma
xoxo.
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